I Poop On Company Time Enamel Pin

I poop on company time. Not because you're lazy. Because you understand that the eight-hour workday is a social construct and your bowels do not care about quarterly targets, and honestly, that ten-minute bathroom break is the closest thing to a personal victory you're getting before 5pm.

For the office workers who have mastered the art of the strategic disappearance, the corporate employees who know exactly which stall has the best acoustics, the retail and hospitality staff who treat every break like a small rebellion, and anyone who has ever walked to the bathroom a little slower than necessary just to steal back a few extra minutes of the day.

Wear it on your work lanyard, backpack, or jacket as a badge of quiet defiance, a shared joke with the coworkers who get it, or a gentle reminder to whoever's watching that you clock in, but you don't clock out your dignity. The perfect gift for the office menace in your life who takes their breaks seriously, the coworker who always seems to vanish at just the right moment, or yourself - because it's company time, and you've got places to be.